ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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