I just threw up on my dentist
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
