Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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