Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
