She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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