Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My vagina is very pro this idea
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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