How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
