My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
