The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
