smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Soap is not a condiment
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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