Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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