yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
