Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
