Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
