I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
