Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
only you would photoshop your dick
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
