Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Farmville is her only friend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
