Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
