I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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