are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
