I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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