Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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