it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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