you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
