I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
