Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
