you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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