Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
