nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
im on a boat
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