I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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