I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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