i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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