It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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