I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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