I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
