Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
