you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
