Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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