she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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