Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
