Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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