Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
