I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
