I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
