sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
