Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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