end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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