I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
