Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
