whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
