did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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